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Now onto the other things, she claims i don't participate I don't do anything I just sit in the house playing games at my computer. I don't just play I do read I try to learn things on the PC. I read the news, I read up articles on absolutely arbitrary pieces of knowledge I find fascinating.

Useful tidbits that have not only helped me in school but have proven interesting in discussions among my peers. But just this year, I've gotten myself a job, on my first application with the city no less.

Sure it's as a lifeguard but there's that. This summer I've started working out, I'm jogging every day, I don't go very far as truthfully since I stopped competitive swimming I have been getting out of shape but I'm still going at it.

She says I'm far, I'm definitely heavy, but I'm not as obese I don't think. I'm thinner than someone who's a good inches taller than me yet I still manage to be heavier. I certainly am more muscled than your average teenager cause I did swim 6 hours a week averaging 2 hours a session and approximately kilometers per training.

It's certainly not the most but after doing such an amount of exercise for a year and similar loads for another 5 before and after I'm somewhat fit. Anyways, I'm calming down a bit now as I write this but I shall continue and spew all of my thoughts. My parents are immigrants, I'm the first generation born in Canada. They're very eastern in the habits, opinions and whatnot. It's all about school, not a thought about a social life, no concern about today besides my physical condition and health and it's all about tomorrow.

On the other hand I've looked around at university applications and what they're looking for, I want to go to a good university, I dream of perhaps going to MIT, it's something work towards, even if I don't I'm likely to go to the likes of UofT or Waterloo which isn't poor either.

But I've looked around I've tried to do my research and they don't just care about your marks, your SAT score. There's more, social involvement, accomplishments and just overall being able to relate with people. It's something that was hampered by my time swimming literally taking up all my time as 6 times a week I was only able to be driven 2 times out of those 6 and all the other times meant I'd go straight to practice after school and get home at about So I try to balance what I do.

I try to keep my marks up, and in the mean time revive my social life, experience being a teenager, to have the experience, the stories to tell. To date I haven't done any drugs of any kind.

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It's partially cause I do try to stay true to my parents who're deathly afraid of them and have told me ever since not to. I know some people who smoke weed, and whatnot they're cool. I can stay away from it, not give in the peer pressure and not be judged for it either.

But here I am trying to balance these two scenarios as well as now working out and my job. I think it's giving me stress but I'm a teen and I feel it could just be my teen mind acting up and I'm no more stressed than anyone else in life so I try to hold it in to not deal with it, to not let it show, cause especially when I do I get backlash from my mom.

I've had slight bouts of depression. Certainly not serious, and again I have no comparison to gauge it by but it is a feeling of helplessness. Of melancholic lethargy, I have no interest in life, no interest in making it better and I just trudge on and let it continue as it all scrolls by. My rational mind tells me it'll get better, it always does right?

Everyone's been through their teenage stage, all the adults in the world have survived it. But am I the same as everyone else? Does everyone else contemplate such feelings? I don't know, perhaps I never will. Anyways I went to the psychologist, I talked about it, it came to I'm usual maybe I'm taking on more than usual and I'm a little out going but whatever. She assigned me a social worker but we never got in touch I called him a few times, he wasn't there, he's called me back a few times, I wasn't there.

He went on vacation, then I did. I've since returned and haven't called him back. Anyways continuing on to tonight. I've been jogging and I still have only started somewhat recently and I'm rather sore, I jog for about minutes each day, come home out of breath and really tired, go up shower.

Just an hour ago my dad received a call that a family friend from Washington D. C got screwed out of a connecting flight in Toronto where I live and needs to be picked up. I'm sitting here at my computer talking with a friend about plans for going to a MTG pre-release, these things I try not to trouble my parents with, at most I ask them to pick me up if it goes a little later, mostly because the bus near my house stops running later at night. And she wants me, to go out with my dad to pick him up.

Here, me still not entirely cooled off from my run 3 hours and a cold shower ago don't as me why, I generate alot of heat apparently, partially why I swam in my pajamas to change and go out to pick up a bunch of adults that I haven't talked to since I was like 8. This is the second time recently, I'm older now I don't want to go meet my parents' friends. My parents are fairly old and I was born rather late so there's never anyone my age. The next youngest member of my generation is like what, 20?

On the older end they're already married and having children. I have no interests in my parents going to meet other older asian people and discussing their old times while I perhaps sit there in some chinese restaurant quietly eating food and trying to entertain myself on whatever mobile device I bring for the next hours. She starts saying how useless I am, that I don't do anything and all I do is sit on my ass at my computer doing nothing all day every summer.

Not taking into account that I volunteer'd over hours last year and would've done more if I hadn't gotten a nasty infection that I'm not going to go into. And now that I'm jogging every day, going out meeting people and whatnot and going to be taking on a slew of replacement shifts as I couldn't get the shift I wanted cause they wanted to go on vacation. One that I couldn't quite refuse this time. So from there, I get mad, really, really mad.

More angry than I can even come close to playing and game of DotA or from anyone else. I get tired of being told this over and over every time.

Last time it happened we had an agreement I wouldn't do anything physical towards her again, and she'd respect me verbally. She broke her end of the argument. I'm not the best of people, I wish I could be, I should've I should've let her just simmer in her own rage and thoughts of me being useless and just continued on my way. I had already made the decision I was not interested in meeting my parents' friends. But of course being the 16 year old male I am, I get into a fight, my dad joins in breaks it up.

This is where it gets almost a little scary for me to write. Looking back my rational mind, the one that told me in my short bouts of depression that things would get better had gone out the window. I was done with it, I didn't care if I had to leave, if they called the police and got me into a foster, or even if I did for that matter. I didn't care for my life or whatever else continues, it was always the future, always the big picture.

Lacking the little things, the littlest things that always make life the greatest, that make it happy in the now, that make everything worth living for. I was thinking of suicide. From there, I went grabbed my mom's sleeping pills I don't honestly know, on the verge of taking them. In the smallest corner of my mind there flashed the thought that even if I took it they might even end up pumping whatever out of my stomach in the ER or some shit.

At that point my dad stopped me, not physically. But he actually told me, that he did care, he did respect me and he was proud of me. Something my mom had been telling me because I didn't want to go with my dad, she said claiming so I could help navigate except we'd been to the airport so many times already it's nothing unusual.

I give up, I agree to wait til he comes back after sorting out whatever is happening with the family friends at the airport and we'll have a discussion at once he's home. This is the first time he's really been home to witness a fight between me and my mom. I'm wondering what my neighbors as the house is only semi-detached are thinking as there was plenty yelling and whatnot.

But it's here when you'd normally think everything is fine and over, is when the most painful part happens. Here is when I can hear it. My mom saying I'm wrong, I'm terrible, my behavior is unacceptable and that they have to discipline me. I haven't been whipped before or whatever nor do I intend to let that happen.

My mom almost did once but whatever, it didn't really happen It's in these situations at the end of every fight, when I want to honestly believe everything is sorted out, everything is okay, and we've all come to an understanding, each time I try to facilitate it, to foster such a happy ending.

It's even come to last time I've given up on letting her understand the stress or whatever I'm dealing with and that I don't appreciate the pressure she puts on me beyond the pressure and motivation I put on my self, she doesn't understand.

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I tell her just to stop, not worry about it. I'm not incredibly surprised. Despite the fact that Flow had such a dominant record, if you look carefully you'll see that most of the teams were on fairly even footing.

As long as it's close and well played, which it looks like it should be. Clockwork was also pretty dominant for LG today, won them Badlands nearly singlehandedly.

I also didn't expect the lower bracket games to be so anticlimactic. So many failed last pushes. I've really started to dislike that map. It being only my second game was no excuse. In the interest of improving everyone's game, I guess i won't play anymore. Yeah, thats pretty much why I don't play DotA. It's just too much work to play a game without getting complaints.

If you're interested, I can play with you sometime after I finish with Max Payne 3. SMITE was advertised to be different. Easier to learn, better community, novice matches to teach you how to play. But it is exactly the same. The people in the beta either won their key through sheer dumb luck me! And this excuses them being nasty to new players because? Triscuitable And this excuses them being nasty to new players because?

I was on an iPod, so I had to cut it short. These are the types of people who are passionate enough read: Those guys are the rotten bunch. It'll likely clear up when the game launches.

Darth Mario Early adopters of a game have always had a tendency to define the attitude of the community. I wouldn't get your hopes up. Playing with a team helps a lot. If I had a real life friend who was trying to get me into it or I was a bit less occupied, I might play it.

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Who knows, maybe I'll come back to it sometime. By the way, what does MOBA stand for anyway? Too bad people are not that smart to see through Riot's bullcrap. Really desperately want the degreaser: Beggar's Bazooka I now think it's not as OP as first claimed.

Sure, it allows you to destroy sentries in one salvo and potentially devastate a single target with first criticals. But you sacrifice frontloaded damage for it and having to wait for the rockets to load will kill you in an even soldier duel. Rocket jumping is still as viable as ever though. If you've got two weapons or a scrap, just trade for one. I'd disagree with that. LG didn't "have Flow's number", they beat them one time, at the very end of the season, when Flow made a bunch of mistakes.

I'd say Ruwin was the only member of the team who really played to his usual standard. Shrugger and WW just couldn't get anything going for them, not sure about Soup, Harbleu played well but made some pretty questionable decisions, Pyyyour died, dropped people and dropped ubers far more than would be expected of him. Though the problems with Pyyyour and Harbleu I think stemmed primarily from the real main problem, which is that they lacked the incredible team cohesion which is really what carried them through the regular season in such impressive fashion.

So, I'm not saying Flow would've definitely have won even if they'd brought their A-game to LAN, but they would've been well in it. In the end, I've got to say I'm still going to kind of cheer for Flow, because regardless of their LAN performance, their main season, the way they played really shook things up, and I don't think the other teams would have stepped it up so much and played quite as well as they did if they hadn't had that to aim at.

It really did early on in the season. It just all came together for them on LAN. Also, the random deviation of the rockets impacts more than you'd expect. To overcome it, you really want to be up close, but to remain safe while you load your rockets, you kind of want to be at a distance. Can still be very effective if you abuse corners, though.

Lol, no, it's really not. Basic jumps to get around, maybe, but the ability to quickly RJ a second time can be huge not for me, but for people who are good at rocket jumping. Plus, bombing people kind of requires those front-loaded rockets. It's being lauded as OP in the servers I play in. Amusingly enough, the complaints have dropped off once people got their hands on it. Still occurs on occasion though. And yes, I meant basic rocket jumps.

I myself don't do such fancy moves like double rocket jumping. At about 10 meters, you miss by half a meter. Interesting in that a standard launcher can do everything it can, and better. Should I be bracing myself? I'm just not sure any more. Yeah, I'm not really braced anymore. Maybe on Independence Day, but besides that, we don't really have much to go for. Amazon's got a pretty great sale going on now, though.

Flow is a hyper-aggressive team. They double soldier bomb at mid, wipe you there, push you all the way back to last and take it in a matter of minutes. They push where other teams would never think about it, push without an uber, so on and so forth.