Watch Meet the Spartans Full Movie HD 4K Ultra HD Æ - video dailymotion
Watching Meet the Spartans is like being locked in the bathroom Method Man, and tons of terrible impersonators – desperate enough for a. In addition to the gay jokes, Spartans can't get enough of its body function gags and slapstick bits. In the latter realm, the film shows an. Rent Meet the Spartans: Unrated Pit of Death Edition () starring Carmen a lot of the jokes don't make you laugh, and male genitalia is referred to so much.
Plot[ edit ] The film opens with a Spartan elder inspecting three babies. The first, an ugly, talking baby ogre Shrek the Thirdis abandoned to die for its deformity; while the second, who is Vietnamese, is adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The third, Leonidasis accepted as a Spartan for his already-present muscular physique and prepared for kinghood through brutal training. An adult Leonidas Sean Maguire is cast out into the wild, survives the harsh winter, and hunts down a gangsta penguin Happy Feet.
Returning a king for his inauguration wearing a penguin skin hat, Leonidas sees Margo Carmen Electra erotically dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her armor-plated chastity belt.
Years later, Leonidas is training his son when Captain Kevin Sorbo informs him that a Persian messenger has arrived. Accompanied by the Spartan politician Traitoro, the messenger presents Xerxes ' demands for Sparta's submission.
After growing angry with both the messenger's disrespect and finding him making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him into a pit. Despite Traitoro's advice that the messenger's guards are now needed to convey the actual message, Leonidas kicks them in as well, along with several other people he simply dislikes, such as Britney Spears Nicole ParkerRyan Seacrestand the American Idol ju dg es.
Resolving to face the PersiansLeonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their price for their consultation. They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice.
Several men pull down their pants to reveal bare buttocks they appear to be covered with hair or dirt, although it is not clear. A woman wears a short top and short skirt that reveal cleavage, bare abdomen and bare thighs.
Meet the Spartans  [PG] - | Parents' Guide & Review | omarcafini.info
Many men wear small leather loincloth-type shorts throughout the movie they are bare-chested. We see bare baby buttocks as they are stamped after inspection. A man holds a leaf blower between his legs and a woman blows him a kiss. A woman caresses a spear seductively. Men hold hands, skip and sing. Two male dead bodies lie on top of each other, one with its face in the other's crotch and vice versa.
A man looks at another man carrying a box, he says, "he has a huge package" and asks yet another man for an introduction. A husband tells his wife that she should move on if he dies, he says he'd "play the field" if she died and that he has always wanted to have sex with a heavy set woman he uses crude terms.
A man says of another man: A man pulls on a chain attached to a nipple ring, the ring pulls off along with his nipple, and he then staples the nipple back with a staple gun.
Watch Meet the Spartans Full Movie HD 4K Ultra HD Æ
An elderly woman strikes a boy, the boy falls down, the boy punches the woman in the face and we see her dentures fly out of her mouth. A man punches a boy in the face he falls to the ground. A woman punches a man in the face we hear a crunch. A woman is given a very rough massage, we hear crunching and we see the masseuse jumping on top of her. A man is stabbed in the forehead with a hypodermic needle labeled Botox and falls back onto the ground.
Really, the story of Spartans does almost nothing to deviate from its model. For instance, early on King Leonidas Sean Maguire must battle a dancing penguin.
What purpose does this Happy Feet reference serve? None that I can discern. Various cultural references crop up frequently through the film, and the vast majority exist for no logical reason. So idiotic is Spartans that it feels the need to telegraph most of its gags. If you need the joke to be spoonfed to you in that way, then why even bother? And so goes the rest of Spartans.
But enough is enough. The theme grows tiresome early in the film, so it just becomes more and more annoying as the flick progresses. Geez, Spartans barely qualifies as a feature-length movie. Though its full running time takes us to 87 minutes, the actual story ends around the minute mark. How does it fill the remaining 20 minutes?
With credits and a long American Idol spoof. It also injects deleted scenes in the midst of the credits. If the filmmakers thought these were funny, why not put them in the body of the movie? But hey, it allows Spartans to run more than an hour, even though it means this may be the most padded flick ever.
What kind of movie is Spartans? The transfer offered a consistently positive affair. A few wide shots looked slightly soft at times, but those remained in the minority. Most of the flick looked crisp and well-defined. I saw no issues with jagged edges or shimmering, and edge enhancement appeared absent.