Dealing with difficult senior parents meet

Coping With Elderly Parents Who Behave Badly -

dealing with difficult senior parents meet

Difficult aging parents can push us to the limit. We sometimes need to put ourselves first. There are successful ways to get along and do the. Verbal Abuse from Elderly Parents is Really Responsive Behavior be unable to recognize, meet or communicate their needs to their caregivers. . I guess we know now why it is difficult to get staffing that helps these aged. How to Cope with Difficult, Aging Parents selecting an outside setting or professional caregiver—but simply meet the needs as best you can.

dealing with difficult senior parents meet

That's not going to be easy for them to give up. Expect them, in one way or another, to lash out about that loss. Give them their autonomy. Insofar as you can, offer your parent options instead of orders. It's important for them to continue to feel as if they, and not you, are running their lives.

15 Ways to Stay Sane While Caring For an Elderly Parent | HuffPost Life

Let them decide everything they can about their own care and situation. A great way to show your parent love and respect -- and, especially, to affirm for them that they are still of true value to you -- is to sincerely ask them for advice about something going on in your life. Separate their emotional dysfunction from their cognitive dysfunction. Insofar as you can, through your conversations and interactions with your parent, learn to distinguish between their emotional and cognitive dysfunction.

The patterns of your parent's emotional dysfunctions will probably be familiar to you; those, you'll know how to deal with. But their cognitive dysfunctioning will probably be new to you. Track it; react to it gingerly; discuss it with your parent's health care providers. Mostly, just be aware that it's new, and so demands a new kind of response.

dealing with difficult senior parents meet

This is a part of the process where it's good to remember point No. Love your health care providers. During this phase of your life, you don't have better friends than those helping you care for your parent. Cleaning person, social worker, physical therapist, nurse, doctor, caring neighbor -- treat well each and every person who plays any role whatsoever in caring for your parent.

When they think of your parent, you want everyone involved in their care to have good, positive thoughts; you want them to want to care well for your mom or dad.

Steady kindness, and little gifts here and there, can go a long way toward ensuring that's how they feel. Depend upon your spouse. You may find that your parent is more comfortable relating to your spouse than to you.

Though that can certainly hurt your feelings, don't let it. It's simply because your parent doesn't share with your spouse all the baggage they do with you; mainly, they've never been the dominate force in your spouse's life. Your spouse and your parent are peers to a degree that you and your parent can never be.

Let that work for you. Depend upon your spouse to be as instrumental in the care of your parent as he or she wants to be.

No one in this world knows your emotional buttons like your mom or dad does. Surround those buttons with titanium cases and lock them away where your parent couldn't find them with a Rorschach test. Unless he or she is an extraordinarily loving and mature person, your parent is bound to at least once try to push your buttons, if only to establish their erstwhile dominance over you.

Don't let them do it.

How to Deal With Toxic Parents - Overcoming Toxic Parents - The Toxic Parent - 1-877-8BULLIEs

You might owe them your care, but you don't owe them your emotional well-being. With your parent, let "No buttons for you!

Handling Controlling Elderly Parents

Prepare for sibling insanity. Expect the worst from your sibling s. For perfectly understandable reasons, many people go positively bonkers when their parents start to die. Money, childhood mementos, furniture and possessions from the family house, money, diversified assets, money, the will Prepare for the coming crazy.

Do not participate in it yourself. Insofar as you must, of course protect yourself. But no amount of money on earth is worth your dignity. Take care of yourself. It's so easy to surrender to the care of your aging parent more of your life than you should.

dealing with difficult senior parents meet

Coping Tip The first step is to determine why they have stopped bathing. If depression is the cause, speak with their doctor.

  • Verbal Abuse from Elderly Parents is Really Responsive Behavior
  • How to Handle an Elderly Parent's Bad Behavior
  • 15 Ways to Stay Sane While Caring For an Elderly Parent

Therapy and medications can help. If they are afraid of the water or slipping in the tubthere are many types of shower chairs, showerheads and other products that can help. If the person has dementia and is afraid of bathing, then you must be gentle. Begin with a small request, like asking if you can simply wipe off their face.

As they get used to this, you can gradually add cleaning other parts of the body. Be sure to chat with them during the process and let them know what you are doing as you go. Do your best to keep your parent clean, but keep your expectations realistic. Too much nagging is counter-productive, and at the end of the day, you may have to lower your standards and adapt your definition of cleanliness.

Senior Swearing, Offensive Language and Inappropriate Comments When a senior suddenly begins spouting the worst profanities, using offensive language or saying inappropriate things, family members are often baffled as to why and what they can do about it. Caregivers have shared countless stories in the forum about elders who used to be mild-mannered and proper suddenly cursing at them or calling them insulting names.

If the onset is quite sudden, a urinary tract infection UTI is another common culprit. UTIs present very differently in seniors, and symptoms include behavioral changes like agitation. But if dementia is not an issue and a senior is just plain crass, how do you deal with swearing and rudeness? You can try to set firm ground rules for them. Make it perfectly clear that you will not tolerate such language, especially in public settings.

A little bit of guilt may be effective in getting them to realize that their behavior is unacceptable and offensive to other people. Try bringing up happy times from the old days.

Elders love to reminisce, and prompting them to change the subject and tap into their long-term memory will likely cause them to forget about whatever it is that set them off. If none of these suggestions work, your best bet is to learn not to take this behavior personally.

Handling Verbal Abuse from Elderly Parents: Responsive Behavior

Back off, disappear and wait for it to blow over. Paranoia and Hallucinations in the Elderly Paranoia and hallucinations in the elderly can take many forms. These behaviors can be especially difficult for caregivers to witness and try to remedy.

Coping Tip Hallucinations and delusions in elders are serious warning signs of a physical or mental problem. Keep track of what your loved one is experiencing and discuss it with their doctor as soon as possible. This behavior could be something as simple as be a side effect of a medication they are taking, or it could point to a UTI.

When this is the case, caregiving experts seem to agree that the best thing to do is just relax and go with the flow. Do not, try to talk them out of a delusion.

dealing with difficult senior parents meet

Validation is a good coping technique, because what the elder is seeing, hearing or experiencing is very real to them. Convincing them otherwise is fruitless.