DouchebagsMeet your God | omarcafini.info
Douchebags, Meet Your God Join and share your funny stuff with the worls and give it a chance to make it viral. Enjoy, share and interact with other hillarious. From the Annals of Amazing Fuckwittery, a group of douchebags in Cincinnati decided to order a bunch of automatic weapons and wander. all these pictures i just saw on the The Chive yesterday. so ebaum like to just steal TheChives features and pawn it off as their own? i can.
After all, who the fuck are you? Your life is so boring and plain that you crave the excitement and intrigue of his basic training experiences. He always seems to be just a table or two away when we eat at the mess. He just got back from his SQ soldier qualification course.
I know this because every meal you can hear him loudly regaling his comrades with tales of his brutal experiences in the field. SQ is a course which lasts a mere month, yet this douchebag has accrued a nearly infinite quantity of anecdotes.
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Just some average shmuck who spends his whole life living in fear, never doing anything remotely interesting or even worthwhile. Your life is a waste, and this douche bag is only here to enhance your shitty existence.
You should be so thankful. They never take their dog tags off …and find every single opportunity to expose them. He goes to take a shot.
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Oh, hey, just his dog tags. You know, which he got from being in the army. No big deal or anything. Oh wait, he is. Gee, it sure is hot out. Time to go take a dip in the pool! And he never leaves home without his Gerber. Is everything you own covered in green camouflage digital pattern? Everybody knows what that means. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement Later, the same people will physically display all signs of being drunk, but will claim to be sharp as a tack, because, as they'll tell you, they drink so much that it, like, would totally take all the booze in this place to get them drunk.
Then they'll plow their Mustang into a drainage ditch and take a swing at a cop.
If he doesn't have a girlfriend, don't talk to any girls because they could be his girlfriend, someday. It doesn't take a whole lot to set this type of guy off, and after he's pissed, screaming and swinging you'll wish you'd actually done something worthy of such a tantrum. He's easy to pick out in a crowd, there'll be one man yelling while everyone else in the crowd exchanges confused glances along with sympathetic shrugging shoulders.
He's the screaming one, the one trying to finish an imaginary fight with a person who didn't start it. A douche that can't be ignored. This guy is a time bomb, and nobody can see the timer but him--he can go off at any moment.
Although his aggression normally isn't life threatening, it's really fucking irritating. Medically diagnosed IED is defined as a behavioral disorder characterized by repeated episodes of aggressive and violent outbursts grossly out of proportion to the situation.
Wearing a sleeveless rayon body vest while stinking like Axe body spray is common but unfortunately correlation does not equal causation. A study by the National Institute of Mental Health has determined the condition to be more prevalent than previously thought, affecting around 2 out of every 25 adult Americans, most commonly seen in male youths. How the researches went about collecting data is not disclosed, though we hope they ruined many a striped shirt on nickel-beer-night while gathering subjects' reactions.
Cases of road rage, domestic abuse and destruction of property usually involve one or more parties with the disorder. Often those with IED will feel a great deal of regret or remorse if bodily harm or destruction of personal possessions occurs. It's uncertain if the same remorse is felt after chewing out a waitress for forgetting to refill a water glass, though the spit and pubes now hidden in the rest of their meal may balance out the situation.
Continue Reading Below Advertisement This disorder can become a severe disruption in the lives of the afflicted but medications can be prescribed to help alleviate anger impulses. We are not licensed to give medical advice here, but if we were we'd suggest taking muscle relaxers, washed down with your favorite liquor, to help calm the nerves. Now go warm up in a hot tub and feel those angry thoughts drift away. He'll bitch about why his coupons aren't scanning at the checkout. He'll complain when someone has an accent while in America.
And that goddamn hip-hop is always too loud! He won't hesitate to tell you about how much better things were in the past, before the whole world turned against him.
This man is suffering from what is known as andropause or "male menopause.
The term "male menopause" can also be used as an early detection method, since most men with IMS will hear this term and respond with a loud grunt while shouting about "New Age psychobabble bullshit.
Sorority Girl — Why we love her: In the split second we meet someone we all have a hard time deciphering arrogance from confidence.
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This guy thinks the world of himself for the same reason chubby girls think one night stands might actually like her: The Hard 7 — Why we love her: Worth, Texas in no time. The User — Why you love him: Because you have daddy issues. Super Stoner — Why you love him: This guy is so agreeable that after dating the next guy on this list, being able to make up your own mind and never having to debate movie night, date night or girls night seems like a God send.
The Hippie — Why we love her: If you run Showtime you should definitely sponsor me. The Great Debater — Why you love him: This guy seems intelligent only because he has a lot to say about topics you know nothing about.
Catch him in the act of conversation with one of your friends and see him flip-flop quicker than John Kerry in Michigan. The Empowered Woman a. The Feminist — Why we love her: