My girlfriend wants to meet new guy friends? | Yahoo Answers
If your girlfriend wants to go out with her male friend, let her go. Do not . For me, other guys friends I have tried to get him to meet with them (not trying to force a. Where your girlfriend wants to hang out with a guy "friend" one on one and you down and said she's not doing that if she wants to be with me and that we've been .. First off I don't know this guy and have never met him. You knew she had guy friends when you met her, so don't try to amend she wants a guy who is cool with her having male friends because he.
They can't make her cheat. Jealousy and possessiveness kill a lot more relationships than they save. Once something needs "saved" jealousy won't help at all. If these are her best friends, why haven't you met? Your girlfriend should want her boyfriend to get to know her friends. I dont know what it says about your relationship, but it says something. You appear to be afraid that you will lose your girlfriend or her fidelity because of these guy friends.
Sure, players gonna play, but solid people will be solid regardless of the circumstances. You are not more likely to keep your girlfriend by restricting her friends, because honestly if she's not solid, she's going to flake out regardless. On the other hand, if she's solid, it doesn't matter who she's friends with; she'll be loyal to you. Plus, from what you've said, she's been friends with these guys for way longer than she's known you So really, it doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about here except your own insecurity.
If you had a circle of women friends you hung out with, you wouldn't perceive this imbalance, there wouldn't be this imbalance. As it currently stands, though, you see these guys as potential suitors, or at least potential casual sex partners a threat you see as real because you identify two of them as "players" so you view them as a constant threat to the integrity of your relationship; if they are "players" you see them as perhaps more virile than you?
Or possibly prone to moving in on your girlfriend? Perhaps as former "hook-ups" with your girlfriend? This kind of stuff is kind of like Cold War nuclear politics. If you had your own arsenal of hot babes to counter her arsenal of players, you could settle into a sort of detente. But right now, there is a power imbalance.
But I really think you either need to get over this or not date her. My boyfriend and I both have friends of the opposite sex - in particular, he has a lot of female friends. It is straight-up not a big deal, because I trust him. Also, I have met them and in some cases become good friends with them myself over the course of the years that we've been together.
But you really can't dictate these things, and if you want to be with her, you're going to need to get over your discomfort with this. In terms of ways to do this: How well do you know these friends? Can you hang out with your girlfriend and her dude friends some time? Seeing them interact might make you feel more comfortable with the situation. In all likelihood and long before you met her she's already had no shortage of opportunities to take these friendships as far as she wants.
Her friendships are friendships for a reason, and those reasons are not lack of opportunity to get it on. Your insecurity is more likely to destroy the relationship than her hanging out with friends, so focus on fixing that. In the meantime, next time you have the opportunity to all hang out together, take that opportunity. And when you're hanging out together, don't view them as competition, don't try to one-up them, don't be defensive, don't be weird. Assume they're fun people that you would eventually like to have as friends too.
Maybe they won't be, but you need to get your hackles down. That's all you need do. It's not her problem. The insecurity idea is right on the nose as far as I can tell.
Her interactions with her guy friends are probably nothing like your imagining them. I suspect that once you actually see how she treats them, and how they treat her, most of your fears will shrivel away underneath the sunshine of reality. And, if they don't, you'll probably have a more articulatable reason why you're uncomfortable with them. You only believe that they're big womanizers, you don't know that for a fact, and you don't know if they are or would ever do anything with your GF.
If it will make you feel better, get to know them, but seriously be careful about that as well - don't interrogate them, don't belittle them, don't take on them.
You will lose her. How old are each of you? How long have you been dating? But I do think there are ways of framing the question so you can maybe answer it for yourself. First, what does your gut tell you? It sounds from your question like your gut tells you these friendships are a problem, but I don't want to put words in your mouth. Maybe that isn't your initial instinct; maybe it's a product of insecurity, second-guessing, overanalyzing, etc.
What does your instinct say? If you absolutely had to answer the question this very moment, which way would you go? Then ask yourself, should you listen to your gut? I generally think that people should. But that's me, and only "generally.
The point is, maybe there is some fact in your circumstance that genuinely impairs your instinct on this particular judgment. Think about your options. What are the possibilities?
You could stifle your feelings and do nothing. You could get to know these guys. You could give her an ultimatum.
Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend - VisiHow
You know your life and circumstances, and hers, so you're really the only person in this thread who can brainstorm this. Make a list, mental or written. Then think each one through—not to death, but a few steps down the road. If you stifled these feelings, do you think you'd get over them? If you gave her an ultimatum, what do you think she'd do? Try to think about that from your perspective, and then from hers. You're about to make 3 new friends who you apparently have a lot in common with.
And they already get along with your girlfriend!
More seriously, when I first start dating a woman the fact that she has independent friendships with other guys is a big plus for me, not a red flag. It likely means she is strong and independent and doesn't need romantic relationships to boost her self esteem.
It means she is dating me because she really likes me, not just because she needs to have a guy around. It means she has an understanding of the opposite sex outside the context of a relationship, which is an important part of being in a successful relationship.
Now, if you meet these guys and you think they're shady, or if you think there are some weird dynamics between them and your girlfriend, then maybe you have something to think about.
But give these guys a real chance and don't let jealousy cloud your perceptions. If your gf is an alright gal, they're probably alright guys. I know if I bring this up or try and tell her to hang around them less she will get angry with me.
Dealing With Her Male "Friends"
You understand why she'd get angry if you said that, right? Because telling someone not to spend time with their friends is a really shitty thing to do in a relationship. But bringing it up in a respectful way is fine! Start by asking about them casually: She will sense your jealousy, and it will be a bad scene. Finally, if you meet these guys, give them a fair shake, talk about them with your gf and you still feel like you can't handle her hanging out with them?
Well, that's your hangup dude, not hers. If you ever feel the need to try to stop her from spending time with them then it's time for you to bow out of that relationship. If a woman with guy friends isn't for you, then go find yourself a woman without guy friends. Asking her to choose between them and you means either she'll choose them or she'll resent you for it for the rest of your relationship.
That's a lose-lose right there. She's surrounded by all these great guys, and you're the one she chose. Does she have a lot of female friends, too? Or is it mostly guys? Not literally one of these friends, but I am the friend in a similar situation. You need to get to know these guys; they need to get to know you.
From experience, this will help A LOT with your insecurities about her being around not-you-dudes. And if they don't get to know you, then you are just an anonymous asshole she is happy with now, but will eventually make her cry. We hate it when you make her cry. Take an interest in her friends. Ask to hang out, talk with them, talk to her about them. Right now you are letting ignorance and stereotypes sabotage the relationship in your own mind. Eventually that will leak out.
Replace the caricatures of your fears with portraits of the actual wonderful people that your girlfriend chooses to have in her life. There's a pretty good chance you will like them! He bothers me the most, but two of them are apparently big womanizers and players, which I am not and this also scares me. I don't know how to feel about this all but it urks me quite a bit.
This reminds me of younger-me. I grew up in a small area, the boys outnumbered the girls, I loved running around and playing "boys" sports, so naturally grew up with a lot of guy friends. My best friend, who I've known since we were 3 and whose mother would watch me after school, eventually turned into a player and a womanizer — but he never showed me that side of himself.
We never dated and never would because he's a serial womanizer and I know it! I will admit, sometimes his friendship nags me because he is a really sweet, caring, wonderful person and yet he thinks dateable women are some sort of distinct species from women he wants to be friends with.
On the other hand, he's like my brother. I'm sharing this on the off chance it's similar to the thought process and experiences your girlfriend might have. Ask her how she met her friends, what brought them together, what they do for fun, that sort of thing.
You're on the right track, not telling her to stop seeing them. Do try to engage with her about them, and be open to meeting them. She'll probably be happy to share about them. If she's not, that would be a warning sign, but considering she's been open about them with you, I bet she'll be even more so with trust from you.
Did she grow up with any of them? If so, it's very possible that she's actually grossed out by the idea of dating them, as if she was imagining dating a brother or cousin. This is how it is with me and my best friend who met in kindergarten.
Otherwise, to be honest, I do have some guy friends who I know would sleep with me if I-- well-- let them it's come up in the pastbut I'm so disinterested I'd never ever do it. There are lots of possibilities; I think you should talk to your girlfriend about what these friendships are like and try to get to know the guys. When some women are single, they surround themselves with a constellation of men.
There's many reasons for it, ranging from protection, to access to dating partners, to genuine friendship. Women exist in a different place from men, obviously. And for a single woman, this behaviour offers many advantages. I suppose there's a bit of a symbiosis, especially regarding access to other dating partners.
- My girlfriend wants to meet new guy friends?
- Deal With Your Girlfriend's Male Friend
- When do you introduce someone to your friends?
It is very much like a tribe. Further, there is often a gatekeeping effect, where a woman's male friends will suss out and test new suitors, and have an insight into their intentions and psychology. It's much harder to 'fool' your own gender than it is the other gender, I think we all can agree. So let us not be concerned with the past, but the present and future. Once a person of either gender is in a relationship, as time goes on, loyalities will change. It's fine for a woman to be friends with men when she is single, and the opposite as well.
As time goes on, however, it should be natural that you become the primary male in her life. As her interest shifts from dating to maintaining a relationship, her social circle will begin to shift. If she is no longer offering the men access to dating partners, and no longer requires their gatekeeping and protection, those male friendships may begin to disappear, for their function is no longer required.
And of course, this will be true for you as well. As the relationship solidifies, one can expect that you will find couple friends, where there is stability and balance. And in that case, she will probably have more girl friends than guy friends. If you would really like to see something disruptive, invite single men into a couples circle. Often, the dynamic will change substantially, for the couples circle is a place of stability, where each couple deals with their sexuality internally, and thus social time becomes more activity and growth based.
Single men are often interested in sex, and thus all the men in the circle will see them -- at least at first -- as potential threats. She will get angry at you if you ask her not to hang out with them, but perhaps not because of why you may think. You are wooig her. You are saying, what I have to offer is a good relationships and a place you want to be not a physical place, but an emotional place.
Your goal is to provide a place she chooses to move toward. If you overtly say, "Stop hanging out with your dude friends," you are essentially saying, "I cannot compete with them, so I will ask you to make this choice. Meet them, be civil with them. You don't have to be friends, although you may become so. And focus on the life you want to life, and the life you want to live together. If she does not detach from these chaps naturally, it's either not the right relationship for her, or not the right relationship for you.
You may be very surprised, they may be super-cool dudes. Or she may not want to let them go, having an inappropriate attachment to male affections, in which case it may not be the right relationship for you. Spending your life trying to control the people she spends time with The Outer is a flawed and painful strategy and is never going to allow you to create an incredible relationship with a high-quality woman.
The best case scenario is that you have to spend the rest of your life being paranoid and constantly monitoring how your partner is living her life. The worst case scenario is you end up with a dependent, weak, needy woman who eventually leaves you for some other jerk. So, that brings us to strategy 2: The Inner The Outer strategy dealt with everything outside your control, namely her, her communication, and her friends.
The Inner strategy deals with everything inside your control, namely: Seriously, get rid of her. There are plenty of high-quality, trustworthy women on this planet. You know how I know? How much time to do you think George Clooney spends worrying about whether or not that guy in the office down the hall from his wife wants to sleep with her? A whole bunch of fuck-all. With that in mind, can you guess what The Inner strategy consists of? Like the most attractive guy any girl you know has ever met.
Which Strategy is for You? When you think about your future, in particular, your future relationships, which of these two options sounds more like the life you want to live? Start your journey by downloading Seduction Community Sucks directly below. Join over 25, subcribers Download your FREE copy of Seduction Community Sucks now and get in-field videos, subscriber-only articles, and exclusive podcasts delivered directly to your inbox If you're ready to become the kind of Man that attracts confident and in-demand women without trying, then I have a gift to start you on that journey.
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