10 Tips to Make New Friends | Personal Excellence
“Hi Celes, I have a small group of friends as I'm a shy person. I'm not really confident enough to go out and meet new people. I would like some advice on how I. Finding new friends isn't always easy and comfortable. Sometimes, as much as you want to have friendships, you'd just rather curl up with a book than attend. to make friends. Not to replace old ones, but to make new connections. It is an excellent way to meet people in the area. Pete McLeod,
Overall, meeting new people may require making an effort to pull out of your day-to-day routine. If most of your hobbies are solitary you might also need to add some more people-oriented ones to the mix.
Also, the easiest way to naturally meet a lot of people is just to live a full, interesting life and run into lots of potential friends as a side effect. Once you're in a situation with some prospective friends around, you need to strike up conversations and try to get to know them. You won't form a connection with everyone you interact with, but if you chat to enough people you'll find you like and get along pretty well with some of them.
Once you've done that you could say you're now at the Friendly Acquaintance stage, or that they're context-specific contacts e. If you have trouble with successfully meeting, chatting to, and getting to know people, you may want to check out the site's sections on shyness, fears, and insecurity and on making conversation.
Invite potential friends to do something with you Once you've met those people you seem to be clicking with, ask them to hang out and do something outside of the situation you met them in. This is the most important step in my experience. You can meet all the people you want, and they can think you're great, but if you don't take any actions to do something with them in the future, then you won't form many new relationships.
People will stay as the guy you talk to in class, or the girl you chat to at work in the break room. This seems basic, but lonelier people often hit a wall here. There may be someone they joke around with at work, or chat to in one of their classes, but they won't take the step of inviting them out and taking the relationship to the next level, and beyond the acquaintance stage.
If you're on the shyer side, you might be a little hesitant to invite people out. While it is a little scary at first, and there is some risk of rejection, it's fairly easy to get used to.
It's not nearly as bad as asking someone out on a date, for example. Depending on how you met them, you may invite someone to hang out fairly quickly or wait a few weeks. For example, if a friend brings one of their buddies along to have drinks with you one day, and you spent four hours together and hit it off from the start, you may be totally comfortable asking them to hang out again right away.
On the other hand, if you seem to mesh with someone at your job, but can only have short conversations with them here and there, it may be a month before you feel ready to invite them out.
If you're not sure how to ask someone to do something with you, you could check out this article: You may meet someone interesting, but you can never assume you're going to see them around again anytime soon. Ask for their phone number or email address, or see if they're on whatever social networks are big in your area. That way if an opportunity to get together comes up, they'll be easy to reach. Also, if they have your info, then they can get a hold of you if they want to invite you to something.
Have a basic grasp of how to make plans To hang out with someone you've got to plan it. Sometimes the process is straightforward. You ask them if they want do something, they agree, and you set a time and place. At other times trying to nail down a plan can be tedious and unpredictable, especially when more than one other person is involved. It helps to accept that this is just an area where there's always going to be an amount of uncertainty, and you can't control everything.
If inviting people out and arranging plans all seems like a big hassle, it also probably feels that way for everyone else at times. They shouldn't always have to step up and organize things for you. Do some of the lifting yourself when you need to. Advice On Making Plans With People Lean toward accepting invitations Of course, making your own plans is important, but if someone asks you to hang out, even better.
If you get invited to do something, strongly consider going. I won't tell you have to force yourself to say 'yes' to absolutely everything. Like if you're certain you'll dislike an activity, or it's way outside your comfort zone, or that's the only time you have to study for a big exam, it's okay to decline. However, if you're only a little unsure, give it a chance.
Why turn down a free chance to get out there with people? When you've got more friends and different options competing for your time you can be more choosy. If you're more of a shy or solitary person it's easy to mull over an invite and rationalize that it won't be that fun and that you shouldn't go. Try to push past those thoughts and go anyway. You often can't be sure how enjoyable something will be until you show up and see for yourself.
Sometimes you'll have to inconvenience yourself for the sake of your social life. You may get invited to a movie you only half want to see, or someone might call you up on Friday evening as you're about to go to bed, asking if you want to go out. Whenever you have two or more people in the equation, you're going to have to compromise sometimes.
Loneliness isn't inevitable – a guide to making new friends as an adult
Again, just being out there outweighs these minor annoyances. Another thing to consider is that many people will stop inviting someone out to things if they decline too often. They may have nothing against the person, but the next time they're planning an event will think, "Paul never comes out when I ask him, so no point in letting him know this time really. Once you've got some budding friendships, keep in touch, keep hanging out, and let the relationship grow It's one thing to hang out with someone once, or only occasionally.
You could consider them a friend of sorts at that point. For that particular person maybe that's all you need in a relationship with them, someone you're casually friendly with and who you see every now and then. However, for someone to become a closer, more regular friend you need hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level. You won't have the compatibility to do this with everyone, but over time you should be able to build a tighter relationship with some of the people you meet.
I talk about developing friendships way more in this article: How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships Once you know some people, build on this foundation Once you've made a regular friend or two you've also got a good base to work from.
If you're not super social in nature, one or two good buddies may be all you need to be happy. At the very least, if you were feeling lonely and desperate before, having a relationship or two should be enough to take those feelings away. Sooner or later you'll end up meeting your friend's friends.
If you hit it off with them then you can start hanging out with them as well. You could also become a member of the whole group with time. But you don't have to stick with ballroom dance. Take a jazz class, Zumba, or Salsa dancing. It's great exercise, and you'll meet fun people who enjoy kicking up their heels.
Find a church or religious community. If you're a spiritual person or have a strong faith, your church, synagogue or other religious community is the perfect place to meet supportive, like-minded friends. Go to seminars, book signings, or speaking events. Look in your local community guide to see what happenings and events are coming up in your area. Attend some of these events and try to sit next to someone who might be looking for a new friend too.
Hang out at a jazz or music club. Do you enjoy jazz or some other music genre that works well in a smaller venue and allows for conversation?How to Meet New People - 6 Tips for Making More Friends
Find a cool, low key club where you can listen to great music and start up an interesting conversation. Take your book or computer to a coffee house. When I start to feel house-bound working from home, I go to a local Starbucks or indie coffee house to work.
It's easy to keep your head down in your computer or book, but look up every now and then and survey the landscape. Strike up a conversation with the person at the table next to you. You never know who you might meet. Hang out at the local museum. Get thee to a museum! Do you like art? Most cities have one or several museums devoted to something that interests you. You'll have no shortage of things to talk about if you chat it up with another museum-goer.
Take an art class or any class. Taking a class automatically throws you into a group of like-minded people. Try to enroll in a more hands-on class rather than a lecture course, which will allow you to talk with other students.
Some kind of art class generally allows for more conversation. Make a point to introduce yourself to other students and initiate conversation with those around you. Join the board of a charity. Do you have a cause that's particularly meaningful to you?
If so, get really involved by becoming a board member or key player for the organization. Get a part-time job working with people you like. If you work from home or in an environment that isn't conducive to meeting new people, then consider a part-time job working in a more social environment.
Eat dinner at the bar of your favorite restaurant. It can be intimidating to go to a restaurant by yourself, but try dining out and sitting at the bar instead.
Whatever you do, don't put your head in a book or your iPhone. Try to appear approachable and friendly. Visit your local farmer's market.
Farmer's markets are so much fun, especially if you enjoy cooking and healthy eating. If you do, you'll find plenty of other people who share your food values, so make a morning of it. Talk to the farmer's, ask questions, and invite conversation with other shoppers. These events often have a festive, sociable atmosphere, so make the most of it. If you are a woman, and you haven't met your soulmate friend yet, maybe it's time to take some serious action.
There are new sites online similar to the Match. I haven't run across any sites like this for men, so sorry guys! If you want to meet new people, don't turn down invitations to social events.
Even if you think the event might not be your thing, take a chance and go anyway. You never know who you'll meet or what connections you might make. You can always leave if you're having a bad time, but if you don't go — you'll never know! True, soul friends or best friends.
These are the friends you can trust to be there for you whenever you need them, and they will go the extra mile for you. Most of us are looking to make regular friends and if possible, true, soul friends. No matter whether you just want to make normal or best friends, you can do that. When I was in junior college, I maintained this seclusive lifestyle, though I began to speak up more.
If you take a look at the people out there who seem to make friends easily, they were probably seclusive themselves at some point. Their social skills were likely all picked up over time. For this same reason, you can learn to become more sociable through time and practice.
Here are my 10 personal tips to get new friends: Realize your fear is in your head The first step is to develop a healthy mental image of meeting new people. Some of us see meeting new people as a scary event. We are concerned about making a good impression, whether the other person will like us, how to keep the conversation going, and so on. The more we think about it, the scarier it seems. This initial apprehension develops into a mental fear, which takes a life of its own and unknowingly blocks us from making new friends.
Shyness toward others is actually a result of fear. If so, start small first. Lower the difficulty of the task by starting off with your inner circle of friends, i. Some ways to do that: Reach out to acquaintances.
How To Make Friends And Get A Social Life | omarcafini.info
Have any hi-bye type friends from earlier years? Or friends you lost touch with over time? Ask for a meetup when they are free. See if there are opportunities to reconnect. See if there are cliques you can join.
Cliques are established groups of friends. With cliques, the existing members will probably take the lead in conversations, so you can just take the observatory role and watch the dynamics between other people. You can join them in their outings or just ask your friend to introduce you to them.
Accept invitations to go out. I have friends who rarely go out. When asked out, they reject majority of the invites because they rather stay at home. As a result, their social circles are limited.