Losing feelings in a long distance relationship

7 Reasons Why Your Long Distance Relationship Is NOT Doomed | Thought Catalog

losing feelings in a long distance relationship

long distance girlfriend losing attraction. Here's a question from a reader that struggled with a confusing issue in his long distance relationship, She's said a couple times “I don't feel what I used to feel for you before” or. People tend to think long-distance relationships are one of the hardest I could feel him being on the other side, thinking of me and being in love with me. On the contrary, everyone I've met in a long distance relationship can relate to the slow agonizing feeling that takes place over months or even.

I wanted to give him some space. Yesterday we spoke on MSN again. It was an okay talk, but we acted around each other like friends do. We did agree to call tomorrow night to talk about things. Now, I really want to give a go. I want him to feel it all again. Many questions, many fears. If he really felt those feelings, I think it may be worth a shot to try and make that connection with him again.

Everyone gets bored every once in awhile! Maybe he ended the relationship before it could get serious? That might be something to talk about with him.

7 things being in a long-distance relationship teaches you about yourself - HelloGiggles

Either way, I think you need a more honest answer for why he wants to break up. He kind of left you in the dust there. If you intend to try to rekindle your relationship, make it be known. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you know things got boring, but that you believe that you both can work on it to get back what you two once had.

Luckily for me, Mike is not easily offended or hurt or, for that matter, deterred. Another time, Mike and I were discussing something that I was very worried about. This makes effective communication harder. When you feel confused or hurt, remember that you may have misunderstood what your partner said or meant! Ask questions to clarify, and really try to respond thoughtfully rather than just react.

Beyond any specific incident, learn the natural similarities and differences in your communication styles, and how each of you tends to react to frustration, disappointment, or conflict.

Check out this article series on managing conflict in long distance relationships. Stonewalling People sometimes email me about their long distance relationship and say something like this: What should I do?

It is using silence as a weapon or an escape. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage.

Make Your Long Distance Relationship Easy & Fun | Modern Love Long Distance

Distance makes this particularly easy to do, and it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt. If you catch yourself stonewalling, ask yourself why. Are you trying to punish or hurt the other person? Or are you mostly taking what looks like the easy way out by avoiding complicated emotions or discussions? Whatever the answer is, stop it. When your partner does get back in touch, tell them how hurt and frustrated it made you feel to get the silent treatment.

Tell them how you wish they had dealt with the situation instead of disengaging.

losing feelings in a long distance relationship

Becoming possessive Another issue that often pops up in my inbox goes something like this: Distance can make it harder to trust and easier for jealousy and insecurity to run rampant. This combination often fuels possessive and controlling behavior. If you are feeling and acting possessive, try to figure out why.

This is a complicated issue, and that might not be easy to do. You can, however, act less controlling even before you sort out all your feelings. Take a hard look at what you are asking for from your partner in terms of contact, accessibility, and updates. Are your expectations reasonable? If not, decide what is reasonable preferably together and then stick to that. If your partner is smothering you, tell them.

The Sad Truth About Long Distance Relationship

That will only make them more anxious and demanding. Cheating Do you want the good news? Several research studies have concluded that cheating does not occur more often in long distance relationships. Cheating is not uncommon in relationships whether same-city or long distance.

The second one, we both agreed that our lives were taking us to different parts of the world and we were probably better off letting it gowe then struggled to, you know, actually let go over the next year. The third, because we had both done this before, we immediately made plans to end the distance as soon as possible six months and then made the appropriate sacrifices to do so.

Usually, this will be the next time you are both able to see each other. The minute you stop having some milestone to look forward to together, it will become harder to maintain the same enthusiasm and optimism for each other. And this is more important than ever in long distance relationships. You must be evolving towards something. You must have some cause that unites you at all times.

losing feelings in a long distance relationship

You must both have a converging trajectory at some point on the horizon. Otherwise, you will inevitably drift apart. In some cases, people get insanely jealous or irrationally possessive of their partner because they perceive every casual social outing without them as potentially threatening to their relationship.

losing feelings in a long distance relationship

Are you hiding something from me? I am the only fun in your life! All of these irrational fantasies are unhelpful.

Make Communication Optional A lot of long distance couples create rules or expectations that they should have X number of calls or that they need to talk every night at a certain time. You can even find some articles online recommending this sort of behavior. You talk to each other when you want to, not because you have to. And if that means going days without communicating, then so be it. People get busy, after all. Suspenders just wants to play Candy Crush.

When you force communication, two things can happen. Welcome to every shitty marriage ever. This half-assed communication often creates more problems than it solves. Like, if your partner seems more interested in his tax returns than catching up with you, chances are you should just hang up and try again tomorrow.