5 Mind Games Toxic Men Play In Relationships
While some men play games out of fear of commitment or rejection, others may lack empathy or a desire for intimacy. Some see relationships only as a way of. Your boyfriend may be emotionally manipulating you by playing mind games. In order to survive them, this LoveBondings article intends to help. Men are masters of game playing in relationships. Here are the four most frequent ones I see.
Every time he comes back into your life, he has his own reasons. Sometimes, its work, sometimes, his friends keep him busy, and then there are always some duties that he is expected to do at home. He may even give you lame reasons that his great-great-grandmother expired, and he needed to be by his great-great-grandpa's side. That is why he didn't show up for six months. The reasons keep on getting bizarre, so much so, that you wonder if he owns an encyclopedia on excuses.
This continues for some time, before you realize that you are being taken for a ride. He treats you as a matter of convenience. Whenever he wants, he comes into your life, and leaves you as he pleases. Are you really that naive? He is giving you all kinds of lame reasons, and you are buying them! Understand that you have to leave him, just as he left you twice. Simply find someone else; there are plenty of fish in the ocean.
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The 'No Sex' Game So, the guy who could not keep his hands off you is showing no interest in getting intimate lately. I know how worried you must be because of this. You must be killing yourself with thoughts like, 'has he found someone else? However, you need to understand that he does this, so that you will start doubting your capacity in the art of lovemaking. You will be forced to confront him, and this is all that he wants you to do. He does this so that he can 'tell' you what he expects from you during physical intimacy, without sounding too demanding.
There is no problem in asking him what he expects from you. However, don't get into a physical act which you may not be comfortable with, just because it pleases him. The 'Comparison' Game This is perhaps the worst game ever, because it will hurt your self-esteem.
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If your boyfriend is comparing you with any other girl, it will affect you terribly. It will only add insult to injury, if that girl is someone close to you, like your best friend or sister.
He will tell you to go to the gym just like her, become smart like she is, how attractive she is, etc.
He is probably well aware that this will cause feelings of jealousy and anger in you. Even then, he will continue to compare your looks, figure, fitness, style, etc.
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By making you question everything about your appearance and existence, he tries to bring your self-esteem down. First of all, don't see his criticism in negative light. Maybe he really does want you to improve. However, tell him that you will accept constructive criticism, but you cannot stand comparison, as you take immense pride in your individuality.
However, if he is being unreasonable, tell him that you cannot change any further. Try not to say anything negative to him in a fit of anger, as he may use it against you in a future argument. The 'No Compliment' Game You went to a salon and got all decked up specially for him, since you wanted to look beautiful for him.
The whole evening passed by, and he didn't even pay you a single compliment. You are waiting to hear simple words of praise from him. He talks about everything else under the sun, but fails to notice your stunning looks. Your anger is reaching its boiling point, as you wait for him to give you a small compliment. You even indulge in some compliment-fishing by stroking your hair or batting your eyelashes, but to no avail. He drops you back at your place, and leaves without saying a single word about how stunning you looked that evening.
He is purposely not paying a compliment, even though he knows that it is all that you want to hear from him. Try not to overreact, because he may have done this to test your patience. He is the one who has his fingers entangled in your insecurity. He is responsible for you feeling the way you do.
5 Mind Games Toxic Men Play In Relationships
You used to smile. You used to enjoy things in life. But, now all that is gone, and he is the one who took it away. He played games with your mind to gain control over you and to turn you into his obedient puppet. He wanted to be in charge of your relationship by cutting you off of all decisions and taking away your right to say something or have any kind of input in general.
You have to put a stop to it! Stop this madness happening around you. He is probably emotionally damaged and insecure, so he is looking for control in your relationship.
But, that is not an excuse for such behavior. The fact he is insecure cannot possibly justify his behavior and the fact that he has turned you into an insecure and frustrated woman, who is being brainwashed on a daily basis. He did all that just so he could feel better. The blame game He blames you for everything that goes wrong. This can be quite frustrating for the girl. If a girl is really interested, she will normally have a strong emotional reaction to this type of psychological warfare.
Most girls will get worked up with fearful thoughts. A girl will start worrying and wondering if he is still interested, if he has seen or is seeing someone else, if he is in serious trouble, if he is ill, etc. Questions, questions, questions, with no answers, because the guy who is supposed to provide the answers is nowhere to be seen. He is not calling, and he is not answering calls. Think of it this way: Maybe he is trying to see how much you needed him or how much you will miss him if he is no longer there.
If this is the case, your behavior now can either make things worse or better for you. He wants to see how interested and committed you are, and whether or not you are suspicious. My advice is never to panic or overreact. Keep your head to avoid sending the wrong message. Instead, communicate that he is important to you and that you will be supportive, but you won't be a pushover. They enjoy steady conversation with their lovers, so once he starts going monosyllabic on her, she will immediately inquire whether there is a problem.
Then he will respond in monosyllables or may even begin giving the silent treatment. If this happens to you, know that he is fully aware that your mind will go spinning off the hook as you start wondering what you've done wrong. He is just testing your ability to endure. So prove that you can, and don't act needy, although it's important to let him know that you love him.
Has He Become Inexplicably Aggressive? You start noticing that the nice guy you are used to has transformed into a violent stranger.
The aggression may not only be directed at you, but also at everybody nearby, creating an atmosphere of fear. I know the situation is not funny.
However, the purpose of this terrible ploy is not to hurt you but to test your bravery and tensile strength. He wants to see how much shock you can withstand. Nobody needs a coward as a mate.Dating Mind Games - How to Win Every Time - Relationship Mind Games
Even though your partner may not want to admit it, most men need to know that you are that someone who can actually stand up to them and call them to order at the times they need it the most. Doing so successfully will prove you are a strong and fearless woman. This is one way to get a girl, any girl, to boil. Actually, I think men love compliments even more than women, but while men are expected to keep this desire on the low, women aren't.
For Survival: Understanding Mind Games Men Play in Relationships
Women love to be told how good-looking, pretty, and beautiful they are. So after a woman has laboriously made herself up, she loves to hear her man say he likes the end results. The same goes for her cooking, sense of fashion, and even lovemaking skills. Women love those words—those sweet nothings. And what does he do? He acts as if he didn't notice anything. Almost as if she did not exist!
If this happens to you, you can be sure he's watching your frustration build. You may even be tempted to start throwing a tantrum—which would be playing into his hands. He is testing you to find your breaking point. He wants to see if you're normal—after all, it is only human to get desire acknowledgement—but he also wants to see if you can handle it when someone does not give you the expected response. This is the worst form of all the mind games he can ever play with a girl.
By comparing her with others in a negative light, he is using the most destructive means to point out her shortcomings and faults. We know that our faults are what makes us human, but when a person deliberately forces his significant other to take another look at herself in such a deriding manner, he is sending an entirely different and more terrible message altogether. If this is happening to you, listen up. You might want to retaliate by revealing or telling him things to prove that those people are not as great as he thought they were.
But before you do something like that, think again. Don't let him provoke you into saying ugly, malicious, and revealing things about other people too easily. If you do, it may show that you are ready to throw people who made the "terrible mistake" of confiding in you under the bus. He may also think that such a reaction goes to show how you might talk about him the day the chips are down. Besides, he might be really interested in getting you to change for the better.
Yes, sometimes the truth hurts. But sometimes, it is only true friends who can tell you that type of truth—he may want you to know that he is indeed a true friend. Is He Flirting with Other Girls? Mind-gamers know that women are always watching out for those tendencies toward straying that men normally display even unconsciously.
And so what does a mind-gamer do?
Of course, he sends you those signals!