No contact strategy relationship

The No Contact Rule - Its Importance and Effectiveness After a Breakup

no contact strategy relationship

If you are looking for information about the no contact rule to get back with an ex than We recognized that no two breakups are alike and every relationship is unique . You must have a communication strategy before you break your silence. No Contact is not a way to get revenge. Rather, it is a win-win strategy. You can both get distance from each other to reflect on the relationship. One of the best strategies to put into practice following a break up is the No Contact With such developments in your life throughout the No Contact Rule period of begin thinking about their decision regarding terminating the relationship.

  • Using The “No Contact” Strategy To Get Your Ex Back
  • Why No Contact is a Good Thing
  • The No Contact Rule - Its Importance and Effectiveness After a Breakup

You should read several perspectives on the subject and then figure out what to do. This article will look at what constitutes No Contact, how it should be done, its benefits, and what you should and should not do if you decide to exercise it. The advice here can be effective for people who were dumped, or for those who initiated the breakup. What Is the No Contact Rule? No Contact means you do not initiate any form of communication with your ex nor respond to their communications.

This applies in all circumstances except for when there's no way to avoid seeing or interacting with them. If you are forced to communicate with your ex, your conversations should be as casual as possible—no flirting, talking about the failed relationship, or talking about getting back together.

Remember that NC is not a way to get your ex back or to make them miss you. Though there is a chance these things could happen, No Contact is really something you should be doing for yourself and for your own healing. Rules of No Contact After a Breakup You do not call them either on the telephone or through any Internet applications. You do not text them or message them either through SMS or any social media application.

You do not answer your ex's calls or reply to their texts except in the case of an emergency. You do not stalk your ex, either in-person or on social media sites. You block them from all social media sites. You do not go places where you're likely to run into your ex in order to "accidentally" bump into them. You do not use your mutual friends in order to be updated about your ex's current status, asking if they're seeing someone else or if there's any indication they want to get back together.

no contact strategy relationship

As mentioned above, if there is an emergency, you might need to respond to your ex's communications or send them communications of your own. Make sure, however, that the conversation between you two doesn't drift from the issue at hand.

There are no set guidelines for how long No Contact should last. In general, it needs to be longer than a period of two weeks in order for it to be effective. Depending on the length of your relationship and how intense it was, a period of four weeks might be enough, but it might also need to last several months or even several years.

That depends on what you mean. In general, No Contact is a useful tool for getting over a breakup. It helps individuals realize that the past is over and that they need to move on and learn how to live life without their exes. In some cases, after a period of No Contact, the exes do get back together again. In this example, the period of separation would have helped them understand more about themselves and what they wanted, and with clear reflection, they could both come to the conclusion that they wanted to be together again.

However, even though there have been many articles and books written about this topic, few admit that No Contact does not work all the time. It will not help you get over the breakup immediately, and it doesn't guarantee that you will get back together with your ex. It is simply a rule, and like other rules, it can work in your favor or not.

It simply acts as a guide. It Gives You Time to Heal According to psychologist Jill Weberstaying out of contact with your ex is one of the most important things you can do when recovering from a break up or from a divorce. When a break up happens, a person feels hurt. In fact, it has been proven that the brain treats physical and psychological pain similarly.

no contact strategy relationship

In essence, as a result of the breakup, the brain detects a wound. In order for the wound to be healed, it needs to be treated. Think of No Contact as initiating the healing process, acting as the white blood cells and platelets found in a human's immune system. The white blood cells fight off negative emotions while the platelets will clot the wound. Similar to a physical wound, the healing will take time.

You have to be patient. In addition, you should know that if you want to heal from the hurt created as a result of the breakup, you need to admit that you have a wound that needs to be treated. If you live in denial, your heart will continue to ache, which may lead to physical illness. When you are no longer in contact with your ex, the images of them will begin fading day by day.

Why No Contact is a Good Thing • Psychic Elements Blog

Thoughts of them will begin dwindling and you will stop missing them so much. In contrast, contact with your ex would keep you from healing and will keep reminding you of the failed relationship, and that you are no longer together.

Eventually, you won't feel pain from the breakup anymore and you'll be able to see your ex without falling apart. This also applies to your ex, who also needs time away from you in order to heal, no matter who broke up with who. During the No Contact period, you will learn the importance of forgiveness and of dealing with negative emotions without your ex.

It is very important that you heal from the hurt before you think of trying to get back together with your ex. If you're still feeling pain, then it signifies you'll continue to feel pain in the relationship.

It Gives You Time to Reflect Given that you are not in contact with your ex, it will be easier to think clearly about the failed relationship and the direction you want to head in. Until the pain has subsided, it is impossible to think about the failed relationship, about your ex, about what you want, and about what to do next. You want to make decisions that you will not regret later. If you remain in contact with your ex, you will get confused.

In addition, hurtful emotions will make it hard to think clearly and make you carry out hasty decisions. It is probably telling you something. You may benefit more from staying on course with your No Contact strategy. Then we have the situation in which the relationship was only weeks or a few months in duration. Relatively speaking, that is not a very long time to build a solid foundation. Breaking up after such a short time, suggests that something is not working out for one or both partners.

In such a situation, making an exception and ending your No Contact is probably not a good idea. Maybe things will work out.

Advanced No Contact Strategy to Get Your Ex Back – Stop Ignoring Your Ex!

But I would think long and hard before breaking off the No Contact. How many days have passed since you started? If you hear from your ex on day 5 of your No Contact Period, it may be too early to make an exception. You both may need more time to sort things out on your own, before you try to do it together.

Unless, of course, your ex was spewing some nasty venom. Which leads us to the next factor. If you guys have had multiple breakups in the past, then it probably is not in your best interest to make an exception.

The on again, off again relationship cycle is not healthy. Where on the other hand, if you guys have been pretty solid in the past, that bodes well for your future. Maybe you can cut short your No Contact Period on the strength of this factor and other data points.

How much time has gone by since you last spoke? How far along are you in your No Contact Period? The more time that has gone by, the better, because it takes TIME to heal.

Have you been able to set aside the angry and resentful feelings you may have had following the breakup? Do you feel you have progressed emotionally in other ways? Are your drawing closer to becoming the best version of yourself? Can you honestly say you have learned something meaningful about yourself? These are the kind of things you need to think about. The last thing you want is to try to re-enter your relationship when your wounds have not healed. Not unless all of the other Data Points are strongly and positively in place.

When weighing whether an exception should be made, one really needs to put a lot of weight on what caused the breakup. Ask yourself, how severe and ugly was the ending of the relationship? The more severe, the longer one should stay with No Contact. Breakups can be damaging and both parties need to time heal.

All breakups are going to hurt, no matter the degree of severity.

no contact strategy relationship

But it is usually easier to spring back from breakups if they did not cause considerable spite, anger, and hate. If you initiated the breakup, you have more personal power, at least on this matter.

no contact strategy relationship

But be careful with power. It can go straight to your head in a matter of speaking, but you may not be thinking with the right side of your brain. Now, if your ex initiated the breakup and is now reaching out, you still need to weigh things carefully. On its surface, it may appear that the balance of personal power has swayed to your favor. Unable to live your life properly, unable to move on and in a continual state of self-deception.

It's an unhealthy place to be. It prevents you engaging in life, from being able to exploit new opportunities, and from starting a new, potentially life-long relationship.

Every cell of their being yearns to make the connection. For couples who have children together, no contact is impossible unless there is a long-term trusted intermediary.

Even then, the difficulties of such an arrangement are immense. Ignoring a charm offensive is really hard as there is always part of us who thinks our ex might really change this time. Until the next break-up. Find it gives you time to grieve. Avoid making a fool of yourself. Gradually think of your ex less and less. Be able to let go of the pain and heal faster. Be free to move on. Rebuild your confidence, self-respect, and self-esteem.

Understand your relationship mistakes. Catch up with all the friends you lost touch with. Feel ready to reassess your future options. Understand the lessons the relationship provided.