Codependency Relationships - Codependent
Being codependent is hardly the same as simply being dependent. Sleep and Anxiety · New Blood Test Helps Predict (and Prevent?) It may have a certain mutuality to it, but it's negatively symbiotic in a way interdependency is not. It's a relationship in which the two individuals lean so heavily on one. Learn about the warning signs of one-sided relationships and what you can do to changing in the relationship, but there should be times when your spouse is. Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one- sided, Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family.
Underlying problems may include any of the following: An addiction by a family member to drugs, alcohol, relationships, work, food, sex, or gambling.
The existence of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. The presence of a family member suffering from a chronic mental or physical illness. Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist.
As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs. The identity and emotional development of the members of a dysfunctional family are often inhibited Attention and energy focus on the family member who is ill or addicted.
Quiz: Are you and your partner compatible?
The co-dependent person typically sacrifices his or her needs to take care of a person who is sick. How Do Co-dependent People Behave? Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity. However, the very next time he has either a trip or dinner that is business in nature, she becomes suspicious and expects that he is attempting to avoid or reject her.
Then, her demandingness becomes more strident. Because this is a man who is not particularly interested in an exclusive or monogamous relationship, he experiences her nagging as more than he can tolerate and he begins to pull away.
She becomes more shrill in her demands and displays of emotion. It is not unusual for the relationship to come to a disastrous end.
Sometimes, the couple manages to find their way through dating and courting and do get married. However, marriage does not relieve her insecurity and need for reassurance that she is loved. The scenario has many variations and is not limited to the one example just given. There are those times when it is the man who is extremely insecure and dependent.
Quiz: Are you and your partner compatible? | Relate
It is not unusual for this type of individual to be an alcoholic. If the woman is equally insecure, she will overlook and enable his drinking so that she can keep the relationship. In hysterically funny terms he teaches everyone how to train to be a Jewish mother.
I believe the popularity of the book at the time was based on the fact that it hit certain ethnic truths about American Jews whose roots were in Eastern Europe. However, it also touched something deep in everyone that had to do with growing up in a home that could very well have trained people to be codependent and, therefore, very self destructive.
How is this so? The concept behind the book and behind codependency, is that it is necessary to train children to remain young and dependent the rest of their lives.
As Molly Goldberg, a comedian and radio and television actress from decades long gone by, is reputed to have said about how to be a Jewish Mother, "Never let your children know that they can live without you.
The individual remains always yearning for approval and never able to assert who they are.
Signs Of A One-Sided Relationship
Therefore, the "Jewish Mother" trains her children to become the types of people who need to be taken care of. Continuing with the metaphor of Greenberg's comedy and the issue of codependence, the person is constantly communicating to their lover, "I need to be taken care of. I will die if you do not care for me. Do you recognize yourself or someone you know in this? Please send your comments and stories so we can continue the dialogue.