Signs Of Emotional Maturity (Boost The Quality Of Your Relationships)
Do you know how mature you are on an emotional level? Test it out right over here! Calculating Results Embed. Is there emotional maturity in your relationships? to look within ourselves and ask the important questions about what our own guiding principles should be. Mature couples don't “fall in love,” they step into it. Love isn't Immature relationships ask questions; mature relationships answer them.
You seek alternative views Knowing that the way things are done can always be improved, you willingly seek out the opinions and views of others.
How Emotionally Mature Are You?
You do not feel threatened when people disagree with you. If you feel that their way is better, you are happy to run with it. I have spent a great deal of money on my training and education over the years. But some of the greatest lessons I have learned came through simple conversations with people I already knew. So, before I make major decisions and, before I spend big money, I try to make a point of asking people whom I trust for their views.
I regularly solve my problems without having to spend money or, a great deal of time, on unnecessary training. A little emotional maturity can save a lot of time and money. It is amazing how many managers fail to ask employees for their input when facing problems or developing strategies. Unlike the manager, the employee spends most of their time doing the job.
So, they are in a position to offer a different perspective. So, instead of always jumping to provide the solution, I would encourage mangers to first ask the employee: Of course, many of your relationships are outside of the working environment but the same attitude is vital. Asking others for their views makes them feel valued and listened to. And, you will learn far more that you ever thought possible.
A journey shared with the right people, will be a more succesful journey and a more enjoyable journey. Even when you disagree with people, you do not feel the need to criticise them.
Instead, you respect their right to their beliefs. I want to hold my hands up and say that when it comes to emotional maturity, this is usually where my downfall lies.
I have a great love for solving problems and, for helping to solve problems. Hence why I chose coaching for a career. But there are a few things which I need to remind myself of regularly: This includes judging yourself.
Sometimes I catch myself judging others and then I judge myself for having judged them. The major problem with judging others is that you then interpret everything based on that judgement. For example, if you think somebody is a bad person; even when they do something good, you will find a negative interpretation for their actions. You enter each conversation with them with a closed mind which reduces your ability to adapt. This then limits your emotional maturity. I have made good progress on this, but I still have a hell of long way to go.
But I can assure you that as I have reduced my judgements and developed my emotional maturity, I have gotten better at relationships management. I have also increased my peace of mind and my ability to be productive, even when having a bad day. Quick Note Title Your judgements don't just hurt the other person. They hurt you too. By letting go of your judgements, you open up your mind to more of the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer.
Check out Values Based Living. Resilience There will always be things that go wrong. There will always be setbacks and major disappointments. While you may initially be a little upset, emotional maturity allows you to express your feelings, identify the actions you can take, and move on. I have talked a great deal about being adaptable and flexible so that you can deal with any setbacks or problems which come your way.
It would be easy to think that I am arguing that you should ignore your problems and your feelings. But that is the case. Experiencing your feelings is a vital component of emotional maturity. Feelings and emotions have a purpose. Emotional maturity encourages you to experience your feelings and emotions but not to let them dictate your response.
When you allow your emotions and feelings to dictate your response, your tendency is to overreact. Quick Note Title Choosing the appropriate response requires a clear and calm mind. So, while you must experience your emotions, you must let them flow through your mind and let them go. Then you can return yourself to a state of equilibrium, consider the facts and engage your emotional maturity to make the most appropriate response. For much of my life, I have had a bad temper.
Not a violent temper, but I have the ability to get loud and demanding. Given my size, it can be very intimidating to others. I learned this behaviour when I was a teenager as aggression was the method used to discipline me. Unfortunately, anger and aggression became a learned behaviour and my preferred communication method. Any time that I felt people were disrespecting me I always assumed the worstI would get angry and people would back down. It seems great for a while because you are getting your way.
But soon, you realise that your temper is destroying every relationship that you have. And, anger is a communication skill that is a lot easier to learn than unlearn. Over the years, I have worked hard to try remaining calm. I have made great improvements though, as always; there is room for more improvement.
What has struck me most is that when I am calm and rational, I can get people to do a lot more for me than when I am angry and aggressive and; I can solve problems quicker. When you are calm and act with emotional maturity, you start each confrontation with the view that the other person s is not trying to disrespect you.
You believe that if you have a polite discussion, you can resolve the situation amicably. If you remain calm, you can deal with the problem before it escalates which is easier and less stressful for everybody involved. You know that success requires effort and patience. You do, though, have an optimistic disposition whereby you believe you can cope with whatever life throws at you.
You also believe that there are opportunities out there for you, so you seek them out. None of us can accurately predict the future. Anybody who tells you that they can is telling you a lie. But there is an old saying that is true: When you discover that you really want to be, do or have something; it can be exciting. But then you start thinking about how you are going to do it.
Suddenly, it seems impossible and you start to lose faith in your ability to get it done. Earlier in this article, I discussed the importance of having a clear vision of what you want and staying true to it.
Then you start taking action, learn from your mistakes and then keep going until you achieve your goal. This is the path that all the greats have followed to success but for it to work, you must have enough self-belief and optimism to start taking action.
It is, however, important to be realistic when setting your goal. If you need a ladder to reach your goal, you are being realistic. If you need a spaceship, it might not be realistic; at least not for now.
Start with a goal that needs a ladder and work up from there. Quick Note Title Emotional maturity allows you to believe in yourself without getting carried away with yourself. You put yourself forward but you do so with your eyes open, full of awareness of the challenges and difficulties which lie ahead. Building relationships is never contrived; it comes easy to you.
We are currently living in a time when people are obsessed with promoting themselves. They have every means to do it with social media and numerous other communication tools.
It has resulted in an increase in the me, me, me society. From a business perspective, it may be necessary to self-promote. I do it myself but, when you want to build deep and meaningful relationships, you need to focus on the other person as much, if not more, than you focus on yourself.
You must demonstrate that you are prepared to talk with people, not talk at them. Emotional maturity allows you to care about your relationships with others and your relationship with yourself.
Emotional maturity communicates itself through your care, concern and empathy for others. Your open-mindedness and willingness to listen to others without judgement is like a magnet which draws others in. When people see this, they see that you are not only someone they can talk too but, somebody they want to talk to. Quick Note Title Make no mistake about it, emotional maturity is like a badge you wear which people can see without you making any extra effort to show them.
Click to Tweet Self-belief Relationships are wonderful, especially when they are based on equality. When we think of a relationship of equals we think about how both people must have as much respect for the other person as they have for themselves. What you might overlook is that you must have as much respect for yourself as you have for the other person. And self-belief is really a manifestation of the respect you have for yourself and, your abilities. Remember that emotional maturity places as much emphasis on your relationships with yourself as it places on your relationships with others.
Because you cannot control others, you can only control how you interact with them. The opposite is also true, others cannot control you, they can only control how they interact with you.
That is why self-belief is so important. As a coachmy job is to help people overcome the problems they face. If they lack self-belief, I can help them develop self-belief, but nothing is going to change until they believe in themselves.
What really matters is whether they believe in themselves. When you have emotional maturity, you realise that it is nice when others believe in you, but it is not necessary. Instead, your emotional maturity allows you to understand that it may be difficult to do what you want to do and, it may take time but, if you really put your mind to it, you can do it. So take a deep breath and try to be completely honest with yourself.
Make notes about any behaviors you don't like in yourself or that you notice others pointing out in you frequently. You are aware of triggers. There may be certain situations or people who trigger immature responses from you. Maybe it's something your spouse says that makes you defensive or the way you revert back to allowing your mom to baby you when you visit your parent's home.
Understanding what triggers immature behaviors can help you change. Think about why the situations or people trigger immature responses in you. Does it go back to an event in your childhood? Did you never learn a more mature response in these situations?
Once you have a better idea of why you are triggered, think about ways you can respond differently. You may need support from a counselor to deal with any old wounds from the past that are holding you back and preventing you from changing your reactions and responses.
You become more accepting of reality. An emotionally immature person rails at reality and tends to blame the world for his or her circumstances. They will avoid, deny, or complain without taking appropriate action.
But emotional maturity requires that we accept reality and work with it. You practice personal responsibility. By claiming your power to choose how you respond to life, you can jump off the treadmill of unconscious reactions. Will you react automatically, giving up your personal power to a knee-jerk reaction?
You define your ideal self. Who do you want to be in this life? What kind of parent, spouse, friend, sibling, co-worker, adult child, and neighbor do you want to be? How would you like to treat others? What kind of words do you want to use? How do you want to respond to life challenges? Sit down with a pen and paper, and write down exactly what you want from yourself in your relationships and in various life situations the positive and the negative.
You may not be able to achieve your ideal all of the time we are human after all! When you fall short, forgive yourself quickly.
10 Ways To Cultivate Emotional Maturity
Offer forgiveness to others if needed. You define your integrity. Part of creating your ideal self is knowing what integrity means for you. Life is so full of mixed messages and conflicting views of right and wrong and good and bad. You may have adopted your parent's value system or borrowed your sense of integrity from your peers. Rather than waiting for this moment to force our hands into a response that may not truly reflect our integrity, be proactive in determining in advance what your ethical and moral principles are.
Then you'll be ready to respond authentically when the occasion arises. One important part of emotional maturity is following through, doing what you say, and being a reliable person. This requires delaying gratification and doing things you may not enjoy simply because you said you would do them. Follow-through on difficult or boring endeavors requires some level of self-discipline.
Self-discipline is a muscle you can develop with practice.