Relationship Evaluation Test
When you evaluate your marriage, you're hitting the pause button and looking at the condition of your relationship in a careful and thoughtful. Feb 12, A psychologist says you can measure the quality of your relationship based on your answer. This is a quiz that will evaluate how healthy your relationship is with your . Do you think that love is not an absolute, not a limited commodity that you're in of or.
There are many more considerations than these five questions. But don't overcomplicate things before you ask yourself the following. Do I feel safe? The health of a relationship can almost be determined by just this one question.
It is easy to be with someone -- almost anyone -- when times are good. The real test is how this person shows up when times are rough. Do I smile more often than cry? In every relationship couples argue from time to time, and we unintentionally hurt each other.
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But if you observe the time you share together as a whole, ask yourself: How much effort are you putting into making the relationship work? Yes, relationships take effort, but if you feel exhausted, it may be that the relationship is depleting you instead of nourishing you. Do I give to my partner from a place of love or fear? Why do you do what you do? Do you give from your own free will, from a place of love, or do you do things to avoid an expected negative reaction from a place of fear?
For example, your partner is sick and asks you to go to the grocery store. You want to help, and so you go. They would do the same for you. But what if your primary motivator is to avoid an expected angry reaction if you refuse? Have you witnessed this person sulking or giving you the cold shoulder when you don't do what they want?
Slow down and assess your motivators for deciding what to give to your partner. Giving is wonderful and it should be a two-way street. Giving in feels different. Is my partner invested? For a relationship to be successful, there has to be a vision for it. Is your partner willing to show up each day and contribute to the success of the relationship, or does he or she just do the occasional grand gesture and leave the daily heavy lifting to you?
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My former husband would dramatically proclaim: If you haven't been with your significant other that long, you may not be at this place, but it is useful to identify what this person is currently invested in.
In other words, can you identify something he or she feels passionate about? Consider these seven ways to save your struggling relationship: Re-evaluate the reasons you're together. Go back to the beginning. What drew me to this person to begin with?
What qualities did they possess that I found valuable? What made them so amazing? And are they still? Reevaluating the reasons you came together reminds you of the reasons to stay together, and this strengthens your already-existing foundation.
Ask your partner what they love and don't love about you; be open to constructive criticism and self-improvement. There is a right way and a wrong way to communicate. The right way is asking your partner a relevant question, listening to their response, then offering your opinion. The wrong way is overwhelming your partner with your irritations and worries as soon as they walk in from a particularly long workday. Practice effective speech by engaging your loved one in a conversation of their interest.
Ask questions that matter to them; people open up when you inquire about their day, an important project, their feelings, etc. Once you've listened to what they have to say, offer your side of the story. Stay away from heavy conversations in stressful times, and especially in the heat of emotion.
Calm down, then approach the topic again. Don't just sound off with your concerns; delve to the core of the matter by drawing your partner into the dialogue first. Do something special together. Perhaps you two have a favorite restaurant you haven't visited in ages, or you can return to the place where you first fell in love?
Being in a physical space where you have powerful memories of strong attachment can reignite passion. Or, you can try something you've never tried before. The excitement of something new produces serotonin and dopamine in our brains. It doesn't have to be something extraordinary; even sitting on a park bench watching the children play as you hold hands can be magical if love exists.
The important thing is that you stop talking about taking that vacation, or trying that new spot, and follow through on your intention to reconnect together. Cut out external influences. Often it is outside voices that seep into our private relationships and brew toxicity. Understand who's playing a less-than-positive role in your relationship and commit to keeping that person's energy out! Keep your relationship as private as possible and divulge as little details as you can.
Don't automatically admit your love woes to others.
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Chances are they don't hold the answers to your problems. Open up the gateways of communication instead and confess your concerns to your partner. To forgive is to detach -- from the bitterness, anger, and animosity holding you back from progress with your partner. Forgo the negative emotions keeping you from true forgiveness. Be mindful that forgiveness is a process, not a result, so perform small, daily acts that are reflective of your intent to pardon.
Come clean about one thing. We all hold a few secrets that would deeply hurt others if they found out. Certain things should simply be kept to ourselves.
But honesty can trigger wonders in your partner's opinion of you. Admitting one secret or mistake to your partner may make them want to open up, too.