Religious differences in a relationship | omarcafini.info
Your partner and you don t belong to the same faith? Keep these tips handy to prevent any differences from arising in future. If not properly managed, religious differences can become a source of conflict and tension within the relationship. However, if properly managed, religious. Different religious beliefs, whether established at the beginning of a relationship or introduced later, can take a toll on a marriage. Experts offer.
What are my expectations for the relationship and a prospective family? How do we express our emotions? Then, talk about these cultural differences as a couple.
Many interfaith couples will start negotiating what religion they want their kids to be, for instance, without having a clear idea of their own identity. So self-exploration is key! Crohn tells the story of an Italian Protestant woman who converted to Judaism. Her Jewish husband came home from work surprised to see her reading the Torah. Think about your religious identity and your cultural identity when you were five years old, 12, 18 and today.
Crohn suggests journaling your responses. Crohn says that this is OK. Doing so allows a greater understanding of your partner.
For instance, you might attend church or synagogue with your partner. That said, yes, if religious differences are a reason not to get into a relationship in the first place, which they certainly are, then they are also a reason to split up. You don't go to church. She doesn't seem to understand the tenants of her faith. She believes in God, and self-identifies as Catholic since that's what her parents were guessing. Beyond that, it sounds like her understanding of the bible and her beliefs are loosely based on what she's heard in the media.
If they're strongly held at all, I imagine it's only because she feels defensive as a result of your very clear and negative opinions of her faith and upbringing. So, religion isn't very important to her except at a very basic I believe Jesus was God kind of level, and it isn't very important to you either. I'd say just stop talking about it, and you'll be fine. However, if you plan to have kids, you should figure out if you can raise them together and agree about how they will be raised.
That's the one are where it seems like it would be a problem. You've been in a relationship with this woman for a long time, serious enough to consider it seems marriage. Yet you still aren't really sure about all of her beliefs, it sounds like she's not even all that sure of her beliefs, and you've managed not to have screaming huge break-up-inducing arguments about it in all the time you've been together.
7 Ways To Make Interfaith Relationships Work
In fact, it seems you can get along just fine by not talking about it. In that case, her beliefs cannot be all that important to her. She may firmly believe them, but I don't see any way they could be the most important thing in her life, or even in the top five. There's no way she'd be dating a non-Catholic if they were. You cannot shake my belief in that. But it certainly is not the most important belief in my life.
It's not even in the top I could quite easily date someone who disliked Margaret Atwood, because his disbelief in her greatness wouldn't be all that important to me.
Just because she's religious does not mean her religion is particuarly important to her. Look at your own example -- you say you're Jewish, but that being Jewish is not all that important to you in most ways. Why are we all assuming that "Catholic" equals "pious and dogmatic as the Pope"?
Simple things like "the best way to fold the towels" can cause a disagreement.
Religion and Relationships | omarcafini.info
If your girlfriend isn't prepared to change from the family ideals she was brought up with religion altogether asideit will make for a very difficult marriage. I have no idea how you go about breaking up, when you still love someone. Maybe that is the problem. As a cradle Catholic myself, my spirituality and frequentness of attending Mass has had it peaks and valleys over the years.
However, I find that the more into my religion I am, the more I actually stop and think about that it means why I believe what I do. More than going to Mass, though, and partaking in activities that require critical thinking about my beliefs help- such as going to Bible Study or participating communal activities where religion is bound to come up.
So, Maybe nudging her towards the direction of getting involved with the Church might help to get her thinking as doing nothing seems to make things only worse. But could you date someone who thought that Margaret Atwood was a worthless piece of shit, and that your appreciation for her indicated your own basic worthlessness as a human being? Sure, they can 'stop talking about it' Does it seem like that's the kind of guy he is? Don't have sex with a devout Catholic.
Having sex with a lapsed Catholic, practicing or not, is one of the reasons you are alive. Given that they've been together this long, I don't see how he can't be. We have stayed together because we love each other and until recently, were able to enjoy our time together while happily ignoring our many differences. Questions like this and others were left until 'some other time'.
We've reached that time. Absolutely anything can be enough of a difference to split a long term relationship, and yet almost anything can be overcome when the two people involved ultimately want nothing more than to make it work. Doesn't sound to me like either of you really do though. There are so many factors that can eventually come up and end a relationship; I don't know that I would invest my time and energy into something that already has such a significant problem to begin with.
Sure it could work - if she were either a better or worse Catholic than you describe. One problem is that quality of her practice of religion will vary throughout her life. She'd want you to convert to get married in the church and raise any kids as one big happy Catholic family.
Sad to say, your significant other has a very limited and simplistic view of the religion and her place in the universe. If you folks just want a long term casual relationship for the sex, then hey then go for it.
I think the relious chasm is about to get wider and wider until things go down the tubes unfortunately. IMHO, find yourself someone more open minded than this gal. Closer to home too. Is it hard to date someone with significantly different relgious beleifs than your own? Is that automatically a deal-breaker? That depends more on you.
For me, yeah, it probably would be -- as a devout atheist I'd have a hard time with someone who wasn't. And I'd wager more than a few of these responses are based on that.
But is that deal-breaker for you? Maybe love can conquer all Deciding what faith if any to raise you children in could be a fundamental block. I will tell you that I never dated anyone with such views and nearly "broke-up" with a best friend when she admitted to me that she thought I was going to hell. Interfaith marriage can work; but each person has to be open enough to see it from the other's POV and be willing to shape a new future together.
Otherwise one person has to be willing to go along with the "my way or the highway" which won't work in this case I would imagine. The reason you've made it this far already is probably because you probably haven't run into anything MAJOR like kids, trauma, etc that would truly expose the rift. But when the going gets tough, and you have to make real decisions about things, that's when you start to realize that having some who shares the same outlook as you becomes more important.
In the end, anyone that you love that is judging you on your beliefs and determining that something is wrong with you because of them is not someone that you can work it out with, whether we're talking about religion or anything else. Are you an intellectual?
Religion and Relationships
Is it important for you to be able to discuss philosophy with a like-minded partner? If so, this may be a deal breaker.
- How to handle religious differences in a relationship
- How to manage differences in religious beliefs in a relationship
- Why religious compatibility matters in relationships
I'm NOT claiming that the intellectual stuff is unimportant. Part of my relationship with my wife is based on our mutual love of discussion. I'm just suggesting that you work out how strong this desire is in you.
It may also be worthwhile trying to imagine what your relationship would be like if you were both atheists. Stripped of all religious battles, would you problems be solved? Or is fighting over religion a way for you two to deal with other issues? Are you really fighting over who is smarter? Or maybe something else? She did become more religious about 10 years after I was born, which, I think, did put a strain on their marriage.
I was raised as a christian, and know next to nothing about my jewish heritage, except what I learnt through church, oh, and the matzohs my Gran used to have in her flat.
I think of myself as being a jewish christian, which, strangely, does work - the jewishness being more about my heritage and my family, and the christianity which see's itself as the fulfillment of Judaism. I say that sometimes it can work, but only if each person in the relationship can understand and accept where the other is coming from, and agree to disagree.
Also, the child-raising point is especially important. For some people, the way they choose to dress is a representation of their commitment to their faith.
Why religious compatibility matters in relationships | Deseret News
Others may choose to dress in ways that are not direct representations of their faith, but that make them feel most comfortable, which can be connected to their religious upbringings. All of these choices are normal and valid. But religion should never be used to control or abuse another person. Abuse is never okay or acceptable, regardless of your religious beliefs.
If you have concerns about how your partner is treating you, whether your concern is about your faith or something else, call us attext loveis to or chat with us here on our website! Additional Reading and Resources: